Superhero
by LOTRDesmond
Summary: The Island has a new superhero...but is everyone OK with that?


Superhero

Disclaimer: LOST c'est not mine. I wish. However if I was I might go insane with joy so this is probably best. Just a borrow 

DEDICATION: Alice in Wonderland 2009 Set Crew

A/N: Really please no one take this thing seriously. This is completely off the plot of LOST and I know it. This is what happens after 2 hours of screwing sets together on a Friday afternoon. This is pure, foolish, obnoxious idiocy. PS. Love Desmond but he's a riot to make fun of. Charlie shouldn't have died.

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One day Charlie was walking down the beach just looking for something to do. 'Really,' he though 'with all the stuff that usually goes on around here you would think SOMETHIING of interest might happen.' The truth was Charlie was bored out of his mind. Nothing had happened on the Island for days now, no death visions, no others attacks, no monster scuffles, nothing, zilch, nada, caput. Suddenly Charlie heard barking from the tree line.

"Vincent?!" he hollered, still more barking. Charlie dashed off toward the trees and stopped short before he had gone more than a hundred feet beyond the border. Vincent was stuck in a tree. Charlie rubbed his eyes to make sure he wasn't hallucinating but after he blinked Vincent was still there clinging to the branch 50 feet above the ground.

"How the bloody hell did you get up there?" Charlie asked the dog in complete confusion. After a minute he decided not to ask questions, weirder things had happened here. He looked the tree up and down and decided he could probably climb up and get a rope around the dog to lower him down or something. He would have to get reinforcements though. Just as Charlie came to his decision he heard foot steps running through the trees. Charlie turned around just in time to see Desmond leap out of the jungle, tarp wrapped around his shoulders planting his hands on his hips and striking a heroic pose.

"Never fear The Scotsman is here!" he cried raising a triumphant fist.

"Um…Desmond…?" Charlie started but Desmond rushed over and clamped a hand over his mouth to silence him.

"Hush citizen, can't you see there is an emergency here? And how did you come to know my secret identity, hm? Never mind that now. The Scotsman must save the day!" And with that Desmond bounded off to the tree before Charlie could utter another word. Charlie just watched with his eyebrows raised as Desmond slammed into the tree attempting to scale it and falling on his back, jumping up immediately to do the same thing again with the same outcome. Charlie just shook his head and walking away leaving Desmond running into the tree and wonder what he was on and if he would share.

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A few days later found the entire beach camp a flutter with action. They had spotted a BOAT! Half the camp was building a signal fire and the other half was running around making sure that everyone was present. Charlie had gathered as many people as he could think of and was just heading back to the camp when he remember Desmond, who wasn't there, who had been gone for days, who was probably still deranged.

'Damn it' he thought and raced back to the beach, hoping Desmond had gotten there on his own. Charlie got there just in time to see the tarp-ed crusader rushing toward the signal fire with a giant tub of water, where he had gotten it, who knows. Charlie sprinted toward Desmond hearing "Never fear, The Scotsman is here!" over the wind in his ears. Charlie wasn't fast enough and Desmond dumped the water of the fledgling fire extinguishing it with a great HISS. The entire camp stopped and looked at him, loathing pretty much radiating from everyone present as they saw the dead fire and the stream from the ship move off in another direction.

"Fear not oh good people!" Desmond proclaimed over the silence. "I have saved you from the rampaging fire! You may worship me and fall down in gratitude now!" Desmond closed his eyes and opened his arms expectantly and Charlie rubbed the back of his next

"I guess I should have warned you guys about him the other day…"

"That would have been nice Charlie." Jack said still glaring at Desmond. Jack turned to the rest of the camp and nodded his head toward Desmond. Everyone yelled at charged at The Scotsman. Desmond's eyes snapped open and he squeaked streaking away, tarp flying behind him as he ran from the mob of angry Losties. Charlie did not join in the chase and never really found out what happened but they never saw their local island nut job, I mean superhero again.


End file.
